Quarter Life Crisis

Wow, what a name. If we analyse this name, then you would understand the meaning. First of all Quarter life crisis, also a critically acclaimed movie, depicts the whirlpool of emotions, barriers and feelings that a person would experience during this age. Ideally, going with the value of 25 i.e, the quarter of a life, does’nt hold good, cos the average life indicated and declared and worldwide accepted by all the commercial organisations is 60-65. But, then why declare 25 as quarter life? The answer lies in the fact that the life is divided into 4 stages, In Hinduism, human life is believed to comprise four stages. These are called “ashramas” and every man should ideally go through each of these stages:
• The First Ashrama – “Brahmacharya” or the Student Stage
• The Second Ashrama – “Grihastha” or the Householder Stage
• The Third Ashrama – “Vanaprastha” or the Hermit Stage
• The Fourth Ashrama – “Sannyasa” or the Wandering Ascetic Stage

So ideally a person starts his or her life during the Grihasta or Householder stage and the transformation takes place during this 25-30 yrs of age. I hope the modern readers would accept this fact. But, what am I doing? I am not here to tell you about the life, instead the main motto of my writing this is to tell you that what has happened to me during this time. And it is quite possible that the readers would also find some sort of similarities and would agree with a few points .

Since 22nd december 2007 the life has turned upside down for me. I turned 23 then and also was at my pinkest of my health and blooming with the growing wealth. A person who had been sponsored for the whole life until now was suddenly let open to live life king size, the way he would have liked. And, atleast I felt the same. I felt the sky acting as a floor and the phrase” The sky is the limit” seemed to have no meaning as life had taught me how to fly and glide. The world seemed a very small place and ther was a rush of blood pumping adrenaline all the time. I was feeling high and higher. Suddenly I felt that I have some importance in life, some value in any organisation, be it family or friends or workplace. A little ego and arrogance is bound to creep in and becomes one of the ingredients for a matured person. But the time does’nt stop. Nor should we. As we move along, more and more success and fame comes our way. Even with a sense of being victorious a feeling of emptiness started bothering me.

Every evening I used have my unprescribed doses of the right and wrong moves in life, experience of the elders shared and the lectures of morals listened. Although drag but unknowingly they were becomin a nuclei of my matured thinking. Every now and then, I was made responsible for the happiness and contentment of my parents and they would never fail to bring it to my notice that my being successful was there biggest achievment and the reason for there smile. I was indeed responsible. And I was duly certified by the society around me. I was looked upon as a good boy, a dream prince for the respective princess and that’s what my sisters made me feel. I still think, that are all the sisters like this or they really mean it? I was indeed looked upon as a strong contender or a potential candidate as they say? And , I used to listen to the retro classic “ I feel good”.

The emptiness in life started bothering me and I started looking for the queen of my life. The first question was, what type or what basically I was looking for. So the ingredients should be adorable, beautiful, charming, intelligent, manipulative, multi-tasker and so on and so forth. The list was pretty long and I thought that this cannot be possible. This could only be a tailor made package. But in came the thought that should I be even looking for a girl and take away the task of my parents . I discussed with a few and they said that its your life and you should be making the decisions, while the others said that in these matters its better to be old fashioned. So I was pretty confused and arrived on a decision that I would finally ask my parents consent to fall in love with a girl and then later on get married. You might find it awkward bbut, like this every one is happy. I would never go against my parents to get a girl and make a life a living hell for all of us and at the same time the girl would be easily accepted in the family. But life is not a fairy tale.
A friend’s sms taught me that life is a weird teacher, cos it take the exams first and then teaches us a lesson. As I turned 25 life went through a beautiful patch. I used to imagine my self with my life partner. It used to keep me smiling. We always love to day dream, and so do i. I started committing to do all the stuff that people would do in love, like visiting all the romantic places, waltz with her, candle light date and counting the stars in a moonlit night….etc etc….Nights used to be worse. Now I understand why people keep a pilow or a teddy bear under there arms and sleep with a smile on there face. I was ready to fall in…..sorry, rise in love. Her life introduced an interesting character. She was, averagely beautiful, but I love her smile, matured in thinking. When I first met her there were no signs from her or from god. Our friendship was fast. We grew fond of each other and I started co-relating all the events that led to our friendship. I started joining the dots to get a picture of that holy matrimony.

Time rolled and I was pretty sure that proposing was just a formality. But was a little unsure cos the 3 golden words were never utterd from either of us. What should I say, “Dil to baccha hai ji”. I was still a little unsure of my stand. Every B’day I secretly used to ask lord to let me meet my lady, and now when he had actually answerd my prayer I was dumbstruck and in a complete fix. I knew that the belonging to the original othodox hindu family, these things would not be easily accepted and was totally against this concept. I totally respect it, bcos a few things have been established due to timeless research and experience and then later on adopted in the society and there were strong reasons behind them . Arranged marriage was one of them. So I was indeed in a complete mess, stranded between, responsibilities and my own ambitions, moral values adopted by the society and my own desires. I was so confused that I started behaving wierdly with others.

Finally I rested my case with destiny. I assure you, that with destiny you are pretty safe. I accepted the fact that whatever happens, happens for good. I might be sounding coward here. Yes I am. But I love to be like this. Cos being bold here does’nt work . Confronting and fighting against destiny in these matters will not bring happiness in life. So whom so ever will read it might agree that search for true love is the most dificult part, maintaining the true love is the most beautiful part and keeping all the promises, commitments in life with family and friends is the most challenging part. And completing all of them is known as life. So ask yourself this question that where do you stand in life?

NANDAN

First Step Lessons.

THE FIRST STEP LESSONS
I recenly visited my old school. This was a hostel where i spent my initial adolescent years and studied from 4th to 6th standard.The revealation was good as i visited after 15 long years. When i was small the school looked big and as i grew up the same school looked much smaller. The difference was the way my perceptions and choices changed in life. As we grow up so does the knowledge and experience, that life gives us. Our horizons broaden day by day and the world looks a much smaller space

For example when we are small, tiny toddlers, the distance greater than any arms length is too far, and then walking or crawling is a big thing. The paces we cover towards our own mother is too far while learning the first steps of life. But as we grow we learn to walk, run and sprinting many times through the 200 yard football field becomes easy. And as we grow older the use of sms, mobile, chatting or even blogging which i am doing now, knits and shrinks the world to a much smaller size. So small that the whole world seems to be in hand. And so we come to know the importance of first steps.

So the school that once used to be big, becomes a small sacred place. What i want to express is that no matter how big the world grows it is always going to be a sacred place for learning. Now be it big or small, its entirely on how do you percieve it, and it really does’nt matter what the size is. What matters is that its always an open book, encyclopedia, Brittanica, school, College, university, a research centre.

You know why?……Because it teaches you how to live life. And LIFE IS A LESSON, YOU LEARN IT WHEN YOU ARE THROUGH.

All the Best

So finally the D day has come,
When our horses of mind will be put to test,
And our hearts will be brutally nailed along with the rest,
While some would have there legs trembling,
The others would be simply sweating.
But in all this, i will not forget,
the series of transformations , u bet.
Right from the days of Glory, to the present days of worry,
From the days of Hangover, to the day when everything is over,
From the days of complaining, to the day which is paining.
From the day when we thought we had enough time,
to the day when we visit the holy shrine.
So, i have realised just one thing,
which has stuck me like a bee’s sting.
That life will go one, and it will never end,
cos that has remained the usual trend.
We will be always be put to tests,
and asked by them to give our best.
So lets unite to just one thougt,
that come what may, we’ll never be caught.
And whatever stays ahead of us,
will never create anything to fuss.
Cos nothing will stop us from enjoying our lives,
and we have slogged to simply survive.
Not even these small, inconsiderate exams and tests.
So, i would simply say, ALL THE BEST.

All the Best

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